Gratitude Jar: Drop In a Note, Shake It, Pull One Out

A gratitude jar is a jar you fill with short notes about things you're grateful for, then shake to pull one out and reread. Write notes alone or as a group, or switch to a memory jar that holds memories of someone you lost.

Adults Families Name feelings Group therapy

5–15 minutesIn person and on video

Free interactive tool

Link copied – paste it to your client

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Use with care

Never push gratitude onto pain or use it to argue someone out of a feeling.

Gratitude exercises are not a treatment for depression on their own. In grief, follow the client's pace; reading memories can bring tears, which is not a sign the exercise failed. If someone talks about not wanting to live, stop and assess safety.

How to play

Write one thing you're grateful for, or tap an idea to start the sentence.
Press Drop it in (or Enter): the note folds into a slip and drops into the jar.
Shake the jar (tap it, swipe it side to side, or press Shake and pull one) to pull a note out and read it.
Put the note back or keep it out. When you're done, finish to copy or print every note.
For grief, switch to Memory jar: each note is a memory of the person or thing you lost.

About the technique

A gratitude jar (also called a happiness jar) is a jar you fill, one short note at a time, with things you are grateful for, then reread when you need them. It turns gratitude listing, one of the most studied positive psychology exercises, into something you can see grow and pull from on a hard day. A memory jar is the same practice for grief: each note holds a memory of someone who died or something that was lost.

The idea comes from research on counting blessings. In an early set of experiments, people who wrote down things they were grateful for each week or day reported more positive mood than people who listed hassles or neutral events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). The jar adds two things a list does not: a visible pile that grows, and a random pull that brings an older good moment back. In grief work, the memory jar draws on the idea of continuing bonds, that many people keep a lasting connection with the person who died rather than “letting go” (Klass, Silverman & Nickman, 1996). Families, children and grief groups often fill one jar together.

The evidence is practice-based. Meta-analyses of gratitude interventions find small benefits for well-being and small reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms, smaller again when compared with other active exercises (Davis et al., 2016; Cregg & Cheavens, 2021); the jar format itself has not been tested. It suits teens, adults, families and groups, as an opening or closing activity or a week of homework. Do not use it to argue someone out of a painful feeling, and do not offer it as a treatment for depression on its own. In grief, follow the client’s pace. With children and families, any activity can lead to a disclosure of abuse or neglect; know your mandated-reporting duty before you start.

For therapists: how to run it

Goal

A client or group notices and names small good things, or keeps memories of someone they lost, and has them to read on a hard day.

In session

Share your screen or send the link. Ask for three small, specific notes rather than one big one ("the bus driver waited for me" beats "my family").
Pull a note and ask what made that moment good, and who else was part of it. Saying it aloud is part of the exercise.
If the client is low, keep it light: one note is enough, and "still sad" is a fine answer to how reading it feels.
For grief work, switch to Memory jar and go at the client's pace. Finish to copy or print the memories for them to keep.

As homework

Add one or two notes each evening this week; small things count.
On a hard day, shake the jar and read one note before you add a new one.
Finish, then tap Copy for my therapist and paste it into your therapist's secure messages, or print it for your next session. Nothing is saved, so copy or print before you close the page.

With a group

Press Play together and share the link or code. Everyone writes notes on their own phone and they drop into one shared jar.
Notes are anonymous by default; you can show names under Jar options if the group prefers.
Shake the jar and read the pulled note aloud, or invite whoever recognizes it to say more. Anyone may pass.
In a grief group, use Memory jar and agree first that sad and happy memories are both welcome.

Good to know

A gratitude jar turns gratitude listing into something you can see grow and pull from on a hard day. Keep it voluntary: gratitude is not a fix for depression or grief, and being told to feel grateful can feel dismissive when someone is in pain. In grief, a memory jar holds what the person wants to keep of someone who died or something they lost; let sadness sit beside the warm memories. With children and families, any activity can lead to a disclosure of abuse or neglect. Know your mandated-reporting duty before you start, and pause the activity if one comes up.

Worksheets that pair with this tool

Sources & credibility

Method: Gratitude jar: writing things you are grateful for on slips, collecting them and rereading them; the memory jar is the same practice for remembering someone who died
Developed by: Gratitude listing studied by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough (2003); the jar is a popular self-help and classroom format; continuing bonds in grief described by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman and Steven Nickman (1996)
Approach: Positive psychology; grief counseling
Evidence: Practice-based (limited trials)Writing down things you are grateful for has been tested in many randomized trials. Meta-analyses find small benefits for well-being and small reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms, smaller when compared with other active exercises. The jar format itself, and the memory jar in grief, have not been tested on their own.

References

Emmons R. A. & McCullough M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389. Source
Davis D. E., Choe E., Meyers J., Wade N., Varjas K., Gifford A., Quinn A., Hook J. N., Van Tongeren D. R., Griffin B. J. & Worthington E. L. (2016). Thankful for the little things: a meta-analysis of gratitude interventions. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 63(1), 20–31. Source
Cregg D. R. & Cheavens J. S. (2021). Gratitude interventions: effective self-help? A meta-analysis of the impact on symptoms of depression and anxiety. Journal of Happiness Studies, 22(1), 413–445. Source
Klass D., Silverman P. R. & Nickman S. L. (Eds.) (1996). Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief. Taylor & Francis (reissued Routledge, 2014). Source

How it was made

Built by the Mentalyc team from the original method and the published sources listed here. Nothing you enter is stored.

Questions people ask

What is a gratitude jar?

A gratitude jar is a jar you fill with small notes about things you are grateful for, one note at a time. Over days or weeks it becomes a visible collection of good moments that you can pull from and reread when things feel hard.

What do you put in a gratitude jar?

Gratitude jar ideas: short, specific notes about a person who helped you, a small good moment from today, something your body let you do, a place you like, or something you are proud of. Specific beats general, so "my sister drove me to work" works better than "my family".

Do gratitude jars actually help?

Writing down things you are grateful for has been tested in many studies, and reviews find small benefits for well-being and mood. The jar itself has not been studied on its own; it is a way to make the habit easy to keep and the notes easy to reread.

What is a memory jar for grief?

A memory jar holds notes about someone who died or something that was lost: a time you laughed, something they taught you, a song that brings them back. It keeps the memories in one place and gives children, families and grief groups a gentle way to talk about the person.

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Your game designer

Michael Thompson, MSc

Michael's background combines doctoral training in clinical psychology with research on motivation, learning, and emotional regulation.

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Table Of Contents

About the technique
For therapists: how to run it
Worksheets that pair with this tool
Sources & credibility
Questions people ask

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