What is Congruence in Counselling?
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Congruence in counselling is the ability of the therapist to be present, real, and genuinely themselves in the therapeutic relationship. If a client enters the therapy room, they know immediately whether the therapist is genuine or merely pretending to be professional. This innate sense of genuineness speaks to one of the most fundamental things about a good process.
Congruence in Counseling
Congruence in counselling, or genuineness, is the matching of what a therapist is experiencing inside and what is communicated outside within the therapeutic relationship. For congruent therapists, what they do, say, and feel are all reflections of their internal experience. It doesn’t ask therapists to verbalize all feelings and thoughts, but not to hide behind professionalism and pretend to feel an emotion that may not exist.
Carl Rogers discussed this concept in 1957 by describing congruence in counselling as when the therapist was “freely and deeply himself, with his experience accurately represented by his awareness of himself.” That is, therapists are present, aware, and open to being totally human, not cool and clinical.
Other professions can be used to demonstrate this concept. Think of a transaction you’ve ever had with the bank, supermarket, or restaurant. Of course, you can recognize friendly but prepared transactions and genuine exchanges with your server, who asks questions about you for real and even shares spontaneous opinions. In therapy, it is the same thing.
Congruence in counselling operates at two levels, the internal part is where therapists engage with their own feelings, thoughts, and reactions as these arise during sessions. The external part, which is referred to as transparency, is where the therapist may convey aspects of their experience to clients when therapeutically necessary. This does not mean that therapists should project their issues onto clients, but rather that they can engage in a subtle way in reactions, observations, or feelings that can help the therapeutic process.
For example, if a therapist is perplexed by inconsistent information a client has given, congruence would involve acknowledging the perplexity and not pretending full understanding. The therapist might say, “I’m a bit confused about what you’ve said. On the one hand, you tell me you’re very close to your partner, but you’ve also described being very lonely in the relationship. Could you make that clearer to me?”
Importance of Congruence in Counseling
Congruence in counselling appears to be a crucial component of successful therapy. As therapists remain genuine, they create a secure space for clients to open up and be themselves. Such two-way authenticity is the premise upon which successful therapeutic work can be conducted.
Congruence has several valuable functions in therapy. First, it builds trust. Clients recognize insincerity or pretending. When therapists are genuine, clients will be more likely to disclose to them their most personal concerns and most painful experiences. Second, congruence is an example of good, healing relationship behavior. Many clients struggle with being honest in their relationships, and having a genuine relationship with their therapist can be an example of healthier ways of relating outside of therapy.
Third, congruence prevents the therapeutic relationship from being superficial or getting stuck. When therapists hide their reactions or remain too professionally detached, the relationship feels cold and insincere. Life and warmth are brought to the therapeutic process with authentic interaction, which renders it more engaging and ultimately effective for clients.
Congruence in counselling may be especially important for certain patient groups. Certain studies show that authenticity by the therapist has a more powerful beneficial impact on outcomes for teen clients and less-educated clients. This would suggest that younger patients and those possibly intimidated by formal authority figures especially benefit from therapists who can understand them realistically and authentically.
Senior therapists are also more congruent, maybe because they have become more self-assured and at ease with themselves and their professional abilities. This ability allows them to loosen some of the rigid professional boundaries newer therapists may create out of apprehension or uncertainty.
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Congruence in Person-Centered Therapy
In Carl Rogers’ person-centered theory, congruence in counselling is one of three conditions for therapeutic change, alongside empathy and unconditional positive regard. Rogers discovered these conditions to be not only helpful but absolutely necessary and sufficient for clients to experience growth and healing.
In person-centered therapy, congruence takes on particular importance, as the genuineness of the therapist offers the psychological safety the client needs to find their own genuineness. Rogers was convinced that clients would naturally develop and self-actualize if provided with the proper conditions, and congruence is central to the creation of this atmosphere.
The person-centered approach speaks of congruence as a way of being and responding. As a way of being, it calls for therapists to remain in contact with their experience while working, observing their reactions, feelings, and thoughts as they occur. As a way of responding, it calls for the expression of these experiences to clients in ways that facilitate therapeutic movement.
This approach also involves therapists feeling no fear of disagreeing or challenging clients if necessary but doing so out of care rather than professional obligation. It may involve saying something such as, “I am feeling concerned when you talk about how you’re going to drop out of school. It sounds like this decision is being made from hurt and not careful consideration.”
How to Achieve Congruence Psychology
Achieving congruence is an art and skill that needs to be performed every day and thought about. Contrary to some therapy skills that one can learn by heart, congruence is a result of therapists’ willingness to deeply understand themselves and engage with others for real.
The initial step down the way of congruence is to establish mindful awareness of self. Therapists must be capable of observing their internal world as it occurs to them during sessions. This includes noticing feelings, body sensations, thoughts, and reactions to clients. More than half of therapists report that regular meditation, mindfulness work, or personal psychotherapy enhances this capacity for being present in the here and now.
The other critical component of congruence is the acceptance of oneself. Therapists who judge themselves severely for thinking or feeling certain things will not be able to be authentic with their clients because they are not tolerant of their existence. Learning acceptance of one’s own imperfections and limitations creates the inner freedom required to express authentically.
Practical steps towards building congruence include regular self-reflection after sessions. Questions that therapists can ask themselves include, “What was I feeling in that session?” “Were there times during that session when I felt like I was ‘acting’?” “What responses did I have that I didn’t say, and why?” Open self-reflection like this identifies patterns and points for growth.
Requesting feedback from others, including supervisors and, in their turn, clients, can also enhance congruence. Other individuals sometimes know our blind spots better than we do or can see when we are not entirely being ourselves. Engaging in this kind of feedback, however, requires a commitment to growth rather than self-preservation.
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Congruence can also be modeled by therapists through attention to the words they choose. Congruent responses use personal pronouns like “I feel” or “I’m feeling.” They also avoid too-clinical ways of speaking or ducking behind the umbrella of professional buzzwords. Instead of saying to someone, “You appear to be experiencing some resistance in opening up to discussing this topic,” a congruent response would be, “I feel that we may be skirting something essential here, and I’m wondering what might be causing this to be so hard to talk about.”
Congruence development also involves learning to know when and how to report internal experiences to clients. Not everything must be reported, and timing is greatly important. Most critical is developing judgment on what would be right to report and what would be wrong or burdensome. Generally speaking, reporting reactions on the part of the therapeutic process, the client’s patterns, or the therapeutic relationship is beneficial, but reporting unrelated personal matters or feelings is most often not beneficial.
Examples of incongruence in Counselling
Learning about incongruence is as beneficial as learning about congruence. Incongruent behavior by therapists creates distance, breaks trust, and even damages the therapeutic process.
One of the more common forms of incongruence is emotional dishonesty. A therapist, for example, might be frustrated with a client who repeatedly cancels appointments at the last minute but continues to smile warmly and say, “That’s perfectly fine,” when she apologizes to the client. The incongruity between the therapist’s inner frustration and outer peace creates a sense of falseness that clients detect, even if only subliminally.
Another example is hiding behind professional role formality. A therapist might genuinely care for and be warm with a client but have such formal boundaries that the caring never crosses. The client perceives that the therapist is cold or unengaged, while the therapist is caring deeply. This clash between internal caring and outward formality can cause clients to feel isolated and unsupported.
Intellectual hiding is another form of incongruence. In discomfort or uncertainty, some therapists hide behind clinical evaluation or theoretical explanation when faced with these issues. When a client directly asks about the opinion of the therapist, for instance, the therapist would sidestep the question by stating something like “What is important is how you feel about this issue” rather than respond to the therapist’s issue with the question or present their actual opinion when required.
Premature reassurance is also born out of incongruence. While clients are describing painful things, the therapist will find themselves uncomfortable with the amount of emotion and jump to reassure or repair immediately rather than sitting with the client’s pain. Even if the therapist believes they’re being supportive, this action is typically being generated out of their own discomfort and not from an honest assessment of what the client needs.
False positivity is a contradictory pattern too. There could be pressure on the therapists to be constantly positive or optimistic even when the clients are explaining genuinely challenging or hopeless situations. This therapist-imposed incongruence between what the client feels and what is expected of them could be invalidating and distancing.
Other therapists exhibit incongruence by over-disclosing themselves in a self-focused manner instead of a client-focused one. For example, a therapist might use their own anxiety battle when a client tells them they feel anxious, but the disclosure is more to meet the therapist’s need to be related to or understood than to help the client.
Barriers to congruence in Counselling
Several factors could prevent therapists from being congruent in therapy. An understanding of these barriers allows therapists to recognize and address barriers to authentic interaction.
Professional training sometimes unintentionally erects obstacles to congruence. Therapists may learn to maintain strong boundaries and professional distance without learning how to balance this with genuine human connection. The emphasis on maintaining objectivity and avoiding dual relationships, while necessary, can sometimes lead to sterile, impersonal therapeutic relationships.
Personal problems also create barriers to congruence. Therapists who struggle to be genuine in their personal relationships will clearly have a more difficult time being genuine professionally. Individuals who have learned to hide their feelings or present a false self as a defensive mechanism will need to work through these patterns in personal therapy or other personal development endeavors.
Fear is a significant barrier for many therapists. Fear of rejection, judgment, or being seen as unprofessional might lead therapists to hide behind roles rather than be themselves. New therapists might fear that their uncertainty or admission of not knowing something will undermine their authority, not realizing that appropriate vulnerability typically contributes to, rather than diminishes, therapeutic effectiveness.
Cultural concerns may also affect congruence. Open emotional expression or challenging authority figures (as therapists might be perceived by clients) is embarrassing or inappropriate in some cultural contexts. Therapists from backgrounds where emotional control is valued or where hierarchical relationships are formalized may need to adapt their expression of congruence while still remaining authentically engaged.
Organizational pressures also interfere with congruence at times. Agencies that value efficiency, symptom reduction, or compliance with specific treatment protocols can discourage the kind of relational depth that congruence requires. Therapists might be pressured to stay on script or simply focus on interventions rather than being present with clients.
Compassion fatigue and burnout can also affect congruence over the course of time. Therapists who are emotionally exhausted can find themselves going through the motions rather than being genuinely present with clients. The emotional energy of being present and real with multiple clients per day can be draining, and some therapists can find themselves adopting more distant, role-based positions as a defense.
Overcoming these challenges entails both systemic and personal strategies. Individual therapists can pursue the cultivation of self-awareness, seek supervision focused on relationship skills as well as technique, and work through personal difficulties that interfere with authenticity. Organizations can promote congruence by creating cultures of depth instead of efficiency, providing adequate support for therapist well-being, and training focused on relationship skills as well as technical competencies.
Some Final Thoughts
Congruence in counseling is far more than just one more skill – it is the fundamental human capacity to be genuinely present with others in their moments of vulnerability and growth. Although it seems to be an effective way of improving therapeutic results, the highest value of congruence is that it can create the kind of genuine human connection that helps clients improve.
The path toward greater congruence in counselling requires courage, self-awareness, and a long-term commitment to personal and professional growth. It is an invitation for therapists to be willing to be imperfect human beings while being professionally skilled and maintaining their boundaries.
As the practice of counseling evolves, the importance of actual human contact remains constant. In an increasingly digital and disconnected world, the therapist’s ability to offer actual presence and congruent relating is of growing importance. For therapists who are up to the task, congruence offers not just the path to more effective treatment but to more fulfilling and meaningful professional practice.
References
- Kolden, G. G., Klein, M. H., Wang, C.-C., & Austin, S. B. (2011). Congruence/genuineness. Psychotherapy, 48(1), 65–71.
- Rogers, C. R. (1957). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21(2), 95–103.
